Taking my cue from the sunflower, I follow the Light, when I’m not being stubborn and trying to go it alone, that is.
Yes, all too often, I look away from the Light entirely and become distracted following myself around in circles, not getting anywhere at all.
Somehow though, I always end up back here at this place – of remembering –
that the only way for me to live a life in which I am ACTUALLY living, is one in which I am Connected.
The Somehow of which I speak is, of course, the lovely . . . Grace. Grace, Who brings me back again and again when I’ve wandered off thinking I can do it by myself.
According to Richard Rohr, “The morning glories and the sunflowers turn naturally toward the light, but we have to be taught, it seems.” We, yes we, in our stubborn human-ness, think we know best but actually have to be taught to Connect. And that doesn’t mean we can learn it from another human. It means we have to learn it ourselves, it means that we’re being taught every single time we find ourselves trying to go it alone and miserable, and then we re-connect and begin to FEEL something again! That’s how we learn. That’s how we become just slightly less stubborn. Because it feels a whole heck of a lot better to be Connected than not!
When I begin to follow the Light yet again, when I turn back to Connection, I sometimes do so a little sheepishly, as in, “Can I come back, please?”
But I know it isn’t “Can I come back into Your Presence?” It’s “Can I come back into the AWARENESS that I am in Your Presence?”
Because living in Connection, in Presence, is always, always available to all of us. And when we feel it, we know it. We feel the difference.
I do wonder every single time, why don’t I just stay in that place of Connection?
Marianne Williamson wrote about this phenomenon in her book, A Return to Love. She wondered along the same lines I have wondered so many times, something that goes a little something like this: If I feel so good when I’m Connected, then why don’t I just STAY Connected – all the time? She said to herself, “Next time you’re down on your knees, why don’t you just stay there?”
But we don’t learn that way. We don’t learn from doing it right, we learn from doing it wrong, which does happen to be another Father Richard-ism, “The great and merciful surprise is that we come to God, not by doing it right, but by doing it wrong.”
That means yeah, sometimes it’s gonna suck. It’s gonna hurt, and then at some point we’ll smarten up again, and go oh yeah, I remember!!!!! I remember. Got a little lost there. Fell asleep again. But that’s right, turn around. Face God. Connect. And just like that, we’re back. Welcomed with open arms every. single. time. No questions asked. No forgiveness needed. Just welcomed back into our Creator’s loving embrace. That’s not bad, is it? Yeah, that’s not bad.
So, a bow of gratitude to the glorious sunflower for the reminder to continue to turn toward and follow the Light.
